When it comes to the topic of parenting there is no lack of books available. They often vary widely in their approaches to discipline, views of the sinfulness of children, and even the primary responsibility of parents. Paul Tripp’s Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family is a refreshing book in this space. Tripp focuses more on the big picture than specific discipline techniques and continually reminds parents that lasting change begins in the heart, both for parents and children alike.
From the beginning it is obvious that Tripp’s book is not your typical parenting book, even within the Christian parenting book market. Tripp begins his book by advocating for parents to realize that they are not owners of their children but ambassadors for Christ in the raising of their children. As ambassadors parents should not attempt to accomplish their own will, but rather “faithfully represent the message, methods, and character of the leader who has sent him” (14). From this Tripp makes his case that Christian parents should have this overarching principle direct all of their parenting efforts.
In each chapter Tripp succinctly covers a different biblical principle and explains how it relates to parenting. He carefully balances the tensions between law and grace, while using examples from his years of counseling and parenting experience to show that parents often desire for the law to change what it cannot change. “If rules and regulations had the power to change the heart and life of your child, rescuing your child from himself and giving him a heart of submission and faith, Jesus would have never needed to come!” (49) Tripp continually reminds parents, “in parenting you’re not just dealing with your child’s wrong behaviors but his condition” (97). By continually focusing on the heart the author desires to remind parents that behavior change is not the goal, but heart change is. To this end he pleads with parents, “Help them see how what controls their hearts shapes how they respond to people and situations” (147).
Parenting by Paul Tripp is one of the few parenting books that reminds parents that heart change is of far greater importance than behavior change. Tripp does not neglect to point out that parenting mistakes are also rooted in heart change that needs take place within the parent. These are principles that should be heeded by both the new parent and seasoned parent alike. If you are going to read one book on the topic of parenting make it Parenting by Paul Tripp.
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Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family By Paul David Tripp |