In the book Building Bridges, Julie Lowe provides Biblical Counselors an an invaluable resource for counseling children and teens that is rooted in Biblical truth and the Gospel. Lowe uses the expression, building bridges as her main metaphor of speaking into children and teens needs, and world. She defines building bridges as life-giving, gospel-infused connections. The book is mainly directed towards Biblical and Christian counselors, but it applies professional counselors, families, and other caring adults with young people within their sphere of influence.
“Suffering can take the form of creational strengths and weaknesses. Perhaps it is a disability, whether physical or cognitive. For a young person, it may be learning disabilities, struggles with social skills, physical handicaps, or deformities. Or, it could be giftedness with amazing talent, skillfulness, or a high IQ—which although they are blessings on one level, can make it hard for others to understand or relate to.”
Lowe calls attention to the differences in counseling to children and teens as apposed to counseling adults. To effectively counsel children and teens, you must know them individually and how they are developmentally in order to contextualize the Gospel and meet them where they are. There is a constant refrain that is a necessary reminder for all counseling, that we are counseling the individual in front of us. In order to understand them, we must meet them where they are and enter their world. At times this message can seem redundant and overly repetitive within the beginning of the book.
“Children interpret life and experiences whether or not we talk to them about it. Often we avoid discussing topics that are heavy, complicated, or confusing, believing that children will not think about these factors if we do not bring them up. The problem is, children already are thinking, interpreting, and drawing conclusions about their lives. If we do not engage them about these topics, they will draw their own conclusions about themselves, their lives, and God without any loving guidance or a redemptive worldview.”
Much of the book is comprised of practical examples and activities to meet children where they are and building bridges to their world. The various activities provide a way for children and teens to give voice to their thoughts and emotions. The examples are adaptable to your specific situation.
“In counseling or personal ministry, we learn to understand the nature of certain struggles, experiences, and emotional reactions. We pay attention to themes and motives, interpersonal and intrapersonal dynamics, and we learn how to speak into such things with biblical skill and wisdom. However, it is equally important that we treat each young person we work with as a distinct person.”
One of the problems I have found in counseling and parenting books for children is that they focus too much on toddlers and young children. Teens are at a vulnerable and confusing stage in their lives and require a specific approach. They are not little children anymore but they are not adults yet. Lowe provides helpful examples and strategies for counseling directly to teens. The book begins with how Lowe built a bridge to a young teen through music lyrics. By being willing to enter their world, we are better able to understand, and counsel the unique problems and situations teens face.
This is a great resource for Biblical and Christian Counselors but also applies to any adult seeking to relate better to children and teens. The advice is Biblically based and seeks to build a Gospel framework around children and teens lives. The various expressive activities make the book a resource that I will return to again and again.
“As counselors, some of us may feel more successful at connecting with children and teenagers than we actually are. We naively walk away from interactions feeling semi-successful. We kept the conversation going, got him or her to answer our questions, and may have even addressed a few struggles in his or her life. We may walk away from a session like this and think it went fairly well. However, when you ask the young person how it was, you might get a very different story: ‘It was awful. Boring. I hate counseling and don’t want to go back.’ “
“As counselors who follow the Lord and whose practice is grounded in his Word, we understand that no counseling method is neutral in its approach to people. All therapies and methodologies come with presuppositions and philosophical underpinnings that inform how techniques are used. We must always work to discern what is behind any method before embracing it. Sometimes secular therapies work despite, not because of, their philosophical understanding. We should never adopt counseling methods uncritically, but ask ourselves how each one fits into God’s world and his ways.”
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Building Bridges: Biblical Counseling Activities for Children and Teens By Julie Lowe |
I received a free copy in exchange for my honest review. The opinions I express are my own and I was not required to write a positive review.